John Nichols

“

When I get depressed, I don't feel like myself. Medicine might change me, but it's just to change me back to myself.

”

John is the male lead of Crimson Gray, a young man with clinical depression.

Personality

John was a good student with an average social life before his depression overwhelmed him. Though his depression occasionally becomes crippling and often prompts feelings of worthlessness, John is usually capable of functioning normally. Perhaps his most notable trait is his extreme open-mindedness, able to feel compassion for Lizzie instead of fearing her.

In a way, John is an inversion of Lizzie. She considers him to be perfect, while he considers himself worthless. Lizzie is extremely competent, while John sometimes can't even do what the player tries to choose.

There are similarities, too, both of them having a mental condition and being focused on other people. John becomes a very supportive partner to Lizzie, trying to understand her pain and help her stabilize. He isn't happy with her utter devotion to him, instead encouraging her to value herself and develop her own interests.

History

Childhood

John had a relatively normal childhood, but his parents divorced under unclear circumstances and he lived with his distant father. 

Some time after middle school, John's depression emerged in severe form, and he ceased to be a "happy-go-lucky guy". He began to take medication that was helpful, but unfortunately was used as a test subject for KoiTec's Paxetine, which only suppressed a few symptoms and worsened his condition.

Crimson Gray

The biggest change in his life was when he met Lizzie in 1990, setting off the events of the game. In the canon path, he accepted her for who she was, actually strengthening her condition in order to save their lives. (Based on player choices, John might instead reject Lizzie's affections, succumb to his depression, die violently to Lizzie or others, or have an uncomplicated happy future without fully coming to terms with her condition.)

Dusk and Dawn

John in Dusk and Dawn

In 1992, John enrolled in university along with Lizzie. He seemed to be motivated to find a career that would both support a life for them together and allow him to make a difference in the world. Though still living with depression, John was much more stable and seemed to be making long term goals. It is unclear what he studied, but he expressed interest in getting involved in the pharmaceutical industry to prevent more abuses like those from KoiTec.

In addition, John and Lizzie were married once Lizzie overcame her fears about the ceremony. (In non-canon paths, Lizzie can be too unstable or John too depressed for the marriage to happen.) John seemed interested in developing more friendships during university but avoided them for the sake of Lizzie.

Crimson Gray 2

Though the existence of a sequel is uncertain, Sierra has stated that it would take place in 1995 and focus on Lizzie and John after their marriage. According to Steam comments, it would further develop the relationship between the two main characters, deal with social and corporate subplots, and address yandere pregnancy in a way different from other stories.

The future

Sierra has stated that John and Lizzie have two children together, both of whom inherit Lizzie's condition, but in different ways. John becomes further involved in industry, though the exact method would depend on player choices.

Crimson Gray ends with an epilogue an unknown number of years later that suggest they lived long and happy lives together.

Relationships

Lizzie Doss (later Lizzie Nichols) is the most important of John's relationships, one way or another. (And she would have it no other way.)

John's mother doesn't want him or his father.

John's father is a distant workaholic. He does provide John with pocket money, but is rarely home.

John has a few friends in high school, who tease him in a seemingly mean-spirited way. They are unmentioned after Crimson Gray.

At university, John is involved with a student activist group concerned about the influence of pharmaceutical giants like KoiTec, especially having repeated interactions with one member, Aaron. He also plays video games at a LAN party.